Today a girl killed herself by jumping off the top of our building at Shida. This happened in the morning before the first period. My classmates told my class and I that they’d heard from another student that she was Korean and killed herself over a boyfriend, but it became apparent when a staff member came around to do a headcount of all female students in class that was just a rumor “someone had told someone had told someone had told someone.”

I guess there is no way for me or my classmates to know exactly who originated that rumor, but I think that was a really fucked up thing for that person to do, especially since that rumor trivializes the nature of suicide. Nobody kills themselves simply because their boyfriend dumped them. As the entire body of literature and research on suicide says, nothing, not even a note or a diary, will ever explain what drove a person to take that final step. That’s why suicide is so terrible for surviving family members and friends, because it leaves an abyss of questions that will never be answered. And while I guess it is natural to want to know why when something horrible happens, no one has the right (except for family members and perhaps police/health personnel) to hazard a guess and then propagate that as a fact.

I felt really horrible for the girl’s family in class today, especially when the headcount happened and I realized that her family had not been notified, even as all this rumor-making and baseless speculation was going on. I thought of them, going about their daily routine, not knowing that in a few hours or in a day their lives would change forever.

Today Ron’s brother David and I were out to dinner when I heard the guy next to our table talk about how combined with the earthquake in China, the “crazy girl that jumped off the top of a building at Shida” made for a “newsy day.” I would have used different wording, but I guess that is a one way of putting it.