When I was 13, I became obsessed with the book A Dark-Adapted Eye by Ruth Rendell writing as Barbara Vine. The title keeps repeating itself in my head as the days become longer and the constant rain and gloom gradually lift. I thought I was doing okay with the lack of sunlight and I joked with my friends that it was because my brain had finally given up (“Freeeeeedumb!”). But the recent stretch of sunny days and the buzz of spring that fills the air makes me think that I might have been wrong.
I’ve felt more energized over the past few days than I have over the last three months. Instead of spending my evenings under a blanket relentlessly re-pinning pictures on Pinterest and looking at pictures of yarn, I’ve spent my evenings relentlessly re-pinning pictures on Pinterest, looking at pictures of yarn and reorganizing my home office. I cleared a heap of crap off my craft table and have actually been using it to make stuff (I’m almost done with a collage card for my grandmother). I lined up my rolls of washi tape by color. I attacked scuff marks on my walls with a Magic Eraser, bought new bins for my cabinets, started listening to my collection of vintage records again, set aside a basket of clothes for donation and cleaned some unintentional science experiments (yeck…) from my fridge. Even George seems happier. It just makes me happy to see my little cat sitting on a windowsill, blinking slowly at me, his fur soft and warm as he gets drunk on the sunlight.
In hindsight — yes, it was an awful winter. I thought it was okay just because I wasn’t compulsively reading The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder over and over again like I did last year, muttering to myself “at least we’re not slowly starving to death, milling wheat in a coffee grinder and wondering if we should slaughter Ellen and the heifer calf.” Whenever I woke up and it was another oppressively overcast day, I would think “good thing I own a lot of sweater coats.” I have been living in the darkness for so long that the light makes me feel almost giddy.
I have to figure out what I will do with my renewed zest for life. There are so many things. Did you know that several Taipei City public sports centers offer archery lessons? I can began training just in case I have to fight my fellow tributes to the death (yes, I just watched “The Hunger Games”).
Spring has barely sprung, but I am already worrying about next winter. Seriously, I will just run away to Thailand. Thailand, Taiwan, it’s all the same (JUST KIDDING).